I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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