She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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