new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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