he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
