Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
