the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
