Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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