Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
