Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
