I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
