"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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