At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
