NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
