Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
