So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my poor anus
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
