I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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