Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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