I think i sorta joined a cult last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize