i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
operation have a gay friend backfired
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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