whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We need a shit load of segways right now
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
