and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
