Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We got so high we made milksteak
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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