Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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