Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
