My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize