you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
