i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
