...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
