Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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