sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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