ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
