If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
