i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
