Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Duck Duck Cougar?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
