I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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