My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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