bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
