I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
