No awkward lesbian experiences without me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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