Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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