it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
