She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
