Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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