oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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