I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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