yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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