Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
