I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
