Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
