quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
