Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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