evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
