It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
nutella sex= disaster
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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