Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize