Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
