yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
