Got a toothbrush?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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