You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
