Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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