i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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