Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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