so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
