? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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