I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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